The social penetration theory is one that I was familiar with from past Comm classes and can easily relate to my own life, but this chapter shed some new light on it for me. The first new idea was within the metaphor of the onion. Although I had heard this metaphor before, I just now picked up on the notion that when intimacy penetrates layers, it becomes easier to re-penetrate a subsequent time. I suppose its something that I've experienced all my life, personally and with other people, but just never thought about it to realize the fact of it. Once layers are peeled away, a person is exposed forever. Sure, you can retract and try to re-establish these layers, but ultimately privacy is gone and privacy would have to be re-established over a period of time and with new life experiences.
The second principle that I have never realized but participated in is the comparison level principle of human behavior. I realized from this reading that I am always evaluating every situation unconsciously to make the best decision, whether it is to open my mouth and say something, put my hand in a beehive, or whatever, I am evaluating what the best possible outcome would be, what is the worst, and based on that information, should I do it? Although all of us do this to some capacity, I am still amazed that many seem to exercise this principle less than others. The wisdom of "think before you speak" illustrates this very well, and I am a big fan considering the situation, people and surroundings before acting. Basically, every action we make has a consequence - it could be a good consequence, or a bad consequence. The extra little effort to deduct an outcome always benefits any situation.
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3 comments:
I find it interesting in how you stated that we are continually evaluating things whether we know it or not. In reference to the comparison level principle, it is amazing how we let so many things influence us in our decision-making. In fact I see that often times my decisions are made by evaluating what my expectations are in any given circumstance. If I expect something good to happen then I will proceed forward. However, my past has a huge influence in how I evaluate things also. This topic has so many delicate things interwoven that help us in how we eventually make decisions. I find all of this very fascinating in that no one can look at one sole factor in what influences how we evaluate situations, it is in fact a variety of expectations, past experiences and much more working together. Wow, it sure does seem like a lot goes into decision making!
I too had heard about the onion metaphor and commented about it on my blog, but I hadn't thought about it as a wedge the makes a wider opening as it goes deeper. Allowing someone to get to know the real you does leave you open for anything, good and bad. I thought Griffins example of Pete and his developing relationship with his new room mate was a great way to show how the theory works.
Not only do our pasts have a lot to do with our decision making, but so does our cultural influences. How we were raised, our religion and/or beliefs, and our interests directly influence our choices. For example, think about what political party your parents are. Now think about what yours is. More than likely you are a member of the same political party. This adds to jqs statement that "one can look at one sole factor in what influences how we evaluate situations, it is in fact a variety of expectations, past experiences and much more working together."
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